Blaming God

4. General Counseling Topics
Written By Bryan Carlson

Questioning God and blaming God might seem like a fine line, but there is an important distinction between the two.

Questioning God involves seeking understanding, seeking answers, and seeking a deeper relationship with God. It involves an openness to learning and growing, even in difficult times. When we question God, we are seeking to know more about God's character and purpose in our lives, and we are open to the possibility that there may be things we don't yet understand.

Blaming God, on the other hand, involves anger, bitterness, and a sense of injustice. Many people, in the face of suffering and evil in the world, often question the goodness and justice of God. They wonder how a loving God could allow such things to happen and may even accuse God of being unjust or uncaring.

Though God is sovereign over all and nothing happens beyond His control, it's important to understand that much of the suffering and evil in the world is caused by sin and the work of Satan. Sin, which is the result of humanity's rebellion against God, has caused brokenness and corruption in the world. It has resulted in human beings harming each other, exploiting the vulnerable, and causing pain and suffering. Furthermore, Satan, who is described in the Bible as the enemy of God and the father of lies, seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. He is actively working to lead people away from God and to cause chaos and destruction in the world. The suffering and evil that we see in the world are often the result of his influence.

The difference between questioning God and blaming God ultimately comes down to our attitude and our motives. If we approach God with a humble and open heart, seeking to understand and grow, then we are questioning God in a healthy way. But if we approach God with anger, bitterness, and a sense of entitlement, then we are blaming God in an unhealthy way. It's important to remember that God is big enough to handle our questions and doubts. He understands that we are human and that we will sometimes struggle to understand His ways. When we approach Him with humility and a desire to learn, He will meet us where we are and guide us on the path of wisdom and understanding.

Instead of blaming God, we can look to Him for comfort and strength in the midst of our struggles. God has not left us to suffer alone. He has provided a way for us to overcome sin and evil through Jesus Christ and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Through Jesus’ death and resurrection, He has overcome the power of sin and death and provided a way for us to be reconciled back to Him. Furthermore, we can trust in the hope that He will one day make all things right.

Questions to answer with our counselee

  • What specific circumstances have caused you to blame God?

  • How have you been interpreting your circumstances in light of your beliefs about God?

  • What do you believe about God's character and his relationship to suffering and evil?

  • What role do you believe Satan and sin have in your circumstances?

  • Have you talked with God about your feelings of anger or blame towards him?

  • Are you holding onto any false beliefs about God or his role in your life?

  • Have you considered how God may be using your circumstances to refine and grow you?

  • What can you do to shift your focus from blaming God to seeking his help and guidance in the midst of your struggles?

  • How can you cultivate a deeper trust in God's sovereignty and goodness, even in the midst of difficult circumstances?

  • Are there any past experiences or traumas that may be influencing your feelings of blame towards God?

  • How can you draw on the hope and comfort of Scripture to help you navigate through this challenging time?

Stories to consider

Joseph (Genesis 37-50)

The story of Joseph is a powerful example of a man who faced many trials and difficulties but did not blame God. Joseph was the favored son of Jacob and had dreams of greatness, which he shared with his brothers. This caused jealousy and anger among his brothers, and they sold him into slavery in Egypt.

Joseph's life in Egypt was not easy. He was bought by Potiphar, an Egyptian official, but was falsely accused of a crime and thrown into prison. Despite his difficult circumstances, Joseph did not blame God for what had happened to him. Instead, he remained faithful and trusted that God had a plan for his life. While in prison, Joseph interpreted the dreams of two fellow prisoners, one of whom was later released and restored to his position as a cupbearer to Pharaoh. When Pharaoh had a dream that no one could interpret, the cupbearer remembered Joseph and recommended him to Pharaoh. Joseph was able to interpret Pharaoh's dream, which predicted a famine in Egypt. Because of this, Pharaoh put Joseph in charge of preparing for the famine, and Joseph became the second-in-command in all of Egypt.

When the famine struck, Joseph's brothers came to Egypt seeking food. They did not recognize Joseph, who had grown in power and stature, but he recognized them. Despite the wrong they had done to him, Joseph forgave his brothers and provided for them during the famine.

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive" (Genesis 50:20).

This is a powerful reminder that even when we face trials and difficulties, God can use them for good. Joseph could have easily chosen to blame God, get angry with God, or question God’s goodness. Joseph's brothers intended to harm him and destroy his life, but God had a greater plan in mind. He used Joseph's circumstances to prepare him for a position of power in Egypt, where he was able to save many people from starvation during the famine.

This also reminds us that Satan seeks to destroy us, but God can use even his schemes for good. Satan is described in the Bible as a thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). He seeks to lead us away from God and to cause chaos and destruction in our lives. But just as God used Joseph's difficult circumstances for good, He can use even Satan's schemes to bring about His purposes. He is able to use even the most difficult circumstances to accomplish His will. This is a powerful reminder of God's sovereignty and His ability to work all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).

Through his trials, Joseph demonstrated a steadfast faith in God and a willingness to trust in His plan, even when it seemed that everything was going wrong. He did not blame God for his circumstances but instead, remained faithful and obedient, even in the face of great difficulty. God can work even in the midst of our trials and difficulties. It also teaches us the importance of forgiveness and trusting in God's plan, even when it seems uncertain or difficult. By following Joseph's example, we can learn to trust in God's goodness and faithfulness, even in the most challenging of circumstances.

Job

The story of Job tells of a man who faced great trials and suffering, and questioned God's justice and wisdom. Job was a wealthy man, living a prosperous life in the land of Uz. He was described as a righteous man who feared God and avoided evil. One day, Satan, who was allowed to test Job's faith, took away everything he had. Job's livestock, servants, and children were all taken from him in a series of tragedies. Even his own health deteriorated, leaving him covered in painful sores.

Despite these hardships, even under pressure from his wife, Job refused to curse God and maintained his faith. "But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips" (Job 2:10). However, he did question why God would allow such terrible things to happen to him, even though he had done nothing wrong. In his despair, Job cried out to God, asking for an explanation of his suffering. He asked why the wicked prospered while the righteous suffered, and why God seemed distant and uncaring.

God eventually responded to Job's questioning, but instead of providing a direct answer to his questions, God spoke of his own power and wisdom, reminding Job of his limited understanding and human perspective. God's response was intended to help Job see that his suffering was part of a larger plan, and that he needed to trust in God's sovereignty and goodness, even when he couldn't understand what was happening.

Job responds: "I know that You can do all things, And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?' "Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know." 'Hear, now, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You instruct me.' Then Job answered the Lord and said, "I know that You can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. ‘ 'I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye sees You; Therefore, I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes" (Job 40:2-5; 42:1-6).

In the end, God restored Job's fortunes and blessed him with even more than he had before. Job learned that even in his darkest moments, God was always in control and that his ways were beyond human understanding. The story of Job teaches us the importance of faith, perseverance, and trust in God, even in the face of overwhelming adversity. It also reminds us that we are limited in our understanding of God's plan, and that we need to rely on his wisdom and guidance to navigate life's challenges.

Verses for study

Arguing with God

  • Job 13:15-16: “I will argue my way before Him.”

  • Job 39-41: God corrects Job’s thinking

  • Job 42:1-6: Job repents

  • Ecclesiastes 5:2: Do not be quick with your mouth or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God. For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore, let your words be few.

Man’s days are determined by the Lord; He directs our steps

  • Proverbs 16:9: “The mind of a person plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”

  • James 4:13-17: Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. So for one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, for him it is sin.

  • Job 14:5: man’s days are determined

  • Proverbs 19:21: “Many plans are in a person’s heart, But the advice of the Lord will stand.”

  • Proverbs 27:1-2: Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.

Put off | Put on

"to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Eph. 4:22-24 ESV)

Resources

“Trusting God” by Jerry Bridges

“Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament” by Mark Vroegop

“Angry at God: Bring Him Your Doubts and Questions” (booklet) by Robert D. Jones

Bryan Carlson
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