Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
by Bryan Carlson
Egalitarianism is defined as “a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs” or a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people” (Merriam-Webster). From an egalitarian perspective, manhood and womanhood are not defined by traditional gender roles or stereotypes, but rather by the unique gifts, talents, and abilities that each individual has been given by God. Both men and women are viewed as equal participants in the work of God's kingdom and have equal access to spiritual gifts and opportunities for service and leadership. There is no hierarchy of gender in this perspective. Galatians 3:28, which says, "There is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
"Complementarity is the conviction that God created men and women as his image-bearers—equal in dignity and personhood, distinct in role or function—so as to display his glory in harmonious relations of mutual respect, love, and humble service" (Grudem and Piper 30).
This view on manhood and womanhood is based on the belief that God created men and women with complementary differences and distinct roles and responsibilities. Men and women are equal in value and worth, but at the same time, men are called to be leaders in the home and in the church, while women are called to support and encourage men in these roles. This view is rooted in passages such as 1 Timothy 2:11-14 and 1 Peter 3:1-7, which describe the different roles and responsibilities of men and women in the home and in the church.
At the creation of man, God determined that man is in authority and leadership over woman and that woman is in submission to and a helper for man. These are the roles that God determined and created each for. God said, “I will make him (man) a helper suitable for him’" (Genesis 2:18). "And the man said, ‘she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’" (Genesis 2:23). Genesis 2:18 specifically says that woman was created as a helper to man. Furthermore, the very fact that man named woman shows his God-ordained authority over her and her submission to him.
At the fall, God reiterated the roles of man and woman. "Yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:16). God made it clear to Eve that Adam would be in authority over her and that her desire would be for his headship. God made it clear to Adam that he was being punished in part because he abandoned his male headship—"you have listened to the voice of your wife" (Genesis 3:17). In Genesis 3:19, God addresses Adam when he pronounces death on man—why? He was the leader of the relationship; ultimately, Adam was the one responsible.
God continued to reveal his plan for the roles of man and woman in the New Testament. "I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man” (1 Timothy 2:11-14). The woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man" (1 Corinthians 11:7-8). When the New Testament teaches that man and woman fulfill different roles in relation to each other, charging man with a unique leadership role, it bases this differentiation not on cultural norms but on permanent facts of creation. The commandments concerning headship and submission are rooted in created order. We do not have the authority to dismiss an entire verse or application because one part of the verse may be cultural.
In all of creation and life there must be leaders and followers. "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:3.) Christ is equal to God (John 10:30: “I and the Father are one") but He still submits to His Father. This is the same as the woman under man. God created and purposed women to be equal to men in position but not in function. Women are created uniquely by God to fulfill a unique role: a role in which man cannot fulfill. Satan deceives women in convincing them that fulfillment comes from usurping the role of the man. True fulfillment comes from serving the Lord according to His purpose as revealed in His Word.
The implications for counseling regarding confused roles in marriage are significant. Men must learn to become servant-leaders, following the example of Jesus who came to serve, not to be served (Mark 10:45), even if he gets nothing in return, even in the face of rebellious wives (Romans 5:10; 12:9-21). Women, on the other hand, must learn to lovingly submit for Christ's sake, as commanded in Ephesians 5:22, even in difficult circumstances with difficult husbands (1 Peter 3:1-2). This requires a spirit of humility, respect, and obedience to God's design for marriage. In counseling, it is crucial to help couples understand and apply these principles in their lives, so they can experience the fullness of God's design for marriage. By following these biblical principles, couples can build healthy, Christ-centered marriages and honor God through their relationships.
Merriam-Webster, www.merriam-webster.com.
Wayne Grudem and John Piper, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, 30.
