Beginning a Counseling Relationship

by Bryan Carlson

When beginning a counseling relationship, there are two key elements that should be addressed regardless of the presenting problem. First, it is important for the counselor to introduce him or herself and explain how they plan to serve the counselee. As Ephesians 4:25 reminds us, we are called to speak truthfully with one another, setting the expectation for honesty and transparency within the counseling relationship. Second, expectations should be discussed and agreed upon, including of course the counselor's expectations for the counselee. In Luke 9:57-62 and 14:15-33, Jesus emphasizes the importance of being a committed disciple, willing to take up the cross and follow Him. As counselors, we can use the following to outline our expectations for our counselees: the willingness to be a learner, to be honest, to make time for regular appointments, and to complete homework assignments. This sets the tone for a collaborative effort and encourages the counselee to take an active role in their own healing and growth. (Faith notes 15)

In addition to these general expectations, there are several key elements that should be addressed in every counseling relationship.

1)  The first of these is building loving involvement, as outlined in 1 Thessalonians 2:7-9. Establishing a meaningful relationship with the counselee is crucial to effective counseling as it provides a foundation of trust and allows the counselor to minister to the counselee on a deeper level.

2)   Another important element is sharing biblical hope, as conveyed in Psalm 42-43. It is essential for the counselee to have a sense of hope and assurance that God is working in their lives for His glory and their growth in Christ. “But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end. they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, therefore I will hope in Him” (Lamentations 3:21-24). Without hope, they may be less likely to engage in the counseling process and may seek help elsewhere.

3)  Gathering relevant data, as emphasized in Proverbs 18:13 and 17, is also a key element in effective counseling. It is impossible to give good counsel without a thorough understanding of the situation at hand, and poor counsel can not only harm the counselee but also fail to effectively steward the opportunity for ministry that the Lord has provided. Understanding the counselee's worldview, beliefs, and values is important for addressing the underlying root causes of their problems and finding biblical solutions. Understanding whether or not a counselee is a Believer will be important to identify early on (1 Corinthians 2:14).  Identifying the specific issues that the counselee wants to address is an important step in developing a plan for counseling.

4)  Evaluating the problem biblically, as outlined in James 4:1-4, is critical and involves organizing the data into biblical categories and separating problems into their proper categories. This provides an opportunity to show the robustness of the Word and explain how God speaks to each aspect of the counselee's life. Understanding the Bible as the final authority for all counseling helps to establish the importance of a biblical perspective and the belief that the Bible has the answers to all of life's problems.

5)  Providing biblical instruction, as emphasized in Psalm 19:7-11, is the foundation of biblical counseling. This means instilling an understanding of God's Word into the counselee's heart, so as to stimulate faith and obedience in all areas of life.

6)  Finally, assigning practical homework (James 1:22-23 and Philippians 2:12-13) is crucial to implementing change in the counselee's life. Assigning practical homework allows the counselee to put the Word of God into practice in their daily life and reinforces the concepts learned in the counseling sessions. (Faith notes 15-17)

Faith Biblical Counseling, ACBC Exam Track 5, 15-17.