Believer or Unbeliever?
So, in a counseling or discipleship relationship, how do you know if you are dealing with a Believer or an unbeliever. Simply put, make the assumption that everyone is an unbeliever but don’t make it difficult for them to show you they are a Believer. I am not suggesting we take a judgmental, holier-than-thou approach. I just think way too often we think a person is a Believer because they go to church or because they call themselves a Christian.
In a recent poll, George Barna, a Christian pollster, found that 84% of Americans think they are Christians. Most who live in America and are “religious” assume they are Christians. However, when they are asked questions that relate to the Gospel, of the 262 million people live in the United States; 187 million (over 70%) do not have a relationship with Christ. Even more disturbing is that Barna, in his research, has found that half of all adults who attend Protestant churches on a typical Sunday morning are not Christians! How does Barna determine who is and is not a Christian? He asks them questions about how they know they are Christians and compares their answers to how the Bible says a person is saved.
The Bible is pretty clear on a couple things:
not everyone who claims to be a Christian is a Christian.
there are ways of determining if someone is a Christian.
A significant component of biblical counseling is evangelism. This applies to a counselee even if they are a regular church goer.
See articles below.
Verses for study:
Spiritual condition of unbelievers:
Romans 8:7-8: "because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God."
1 John 2:3-4: "By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, ‘I have come to know Him,’ and yet does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him."
Hebrews 11:6: "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for the one who comes to God must believe that He exists, and that He proves to be one who rewards those who seek Him."
1 John 5:1: "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves the child born of Him."
1 John 4:7-8: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Matthew 7:21-23: “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’”
Moralism; appearance of change in an unbeliever; real change is inward and Godward
Romans 14:23: “whatever is not from faith is sin.”
Hebrews 11:6: "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."
Matthew 12:43-45: “Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that person becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation.”
1 Corinthians 10:31: "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God,"
Colossians 2:20-23: "If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 'Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!' (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of mankind? These are matters which do have the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and humility and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh."
Believers still sin
Romans 7:14-25: "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin."
Philippians 3:12: "Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may take hold of that for which also I was taken hold of by Christ Jesus."
Galatians 3:3: "Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"
Galatians 4:9: "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?"
Article: Not all “Christians” are Christians by Bryan Carlson
What is a Christian? A follower of Christ—one who models and exemplifies Christ. Being a Christian was never meant to be private. It was always meant to be lived in community and proclaimed to the nations. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Your light must shine before people in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16). In the verses just before, Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer any good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by people” (Matthew 5:13).
The Church in America is declining rapidly. Many who attend church services are lukewarm—struggling with sin, idols, broken relationships, anxiety, and apathy. Most people in our local churches are consumers, not giving anything back to the work of the Lord. The decline of Christianity in America wreaks havoc on our society. A million unborn babies were murdered last year in our nation, and only 37% of adults in America say abortion should be illegal all or most of the time (pewresearch.org). According to the CDC, “the United States has just recorded its highest increase in rates of homicide in modern history” (CNN.com). There were over 47,000 suicides in the U.S. in 2021 with over 1.2 M suicide attempts (afsp.org). Anxiety is the norm. Forty percent of adults say they are more anxious than they were last year and over 50% of parents are concerned about the mental state of their children (psychiatry.org).
There are only two groups of people in the world: the believer and the unbeliever; the saved and the lost; the church and the world; sheep and goats; wheat and tares; fruitful and unfruitful; children of God and children of the Devil.
What do true Christians look like?
2 Peter 3:11-13: Since all these things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat! But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.
“According the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each person mut be careful how he builds on it. For no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, or straw, each one’s work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each one’s work. If anyone’s work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet only so as through fire” (1 Corinthians 3:10-15).
Marks of a true Christian:
desire for the Word
desire for prayer
desire for fellowship
desire to do good works
desire for holiness/purity
desire to make disciples
love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength
love your neighbor as yourself
the Apostle Paul is a perfect example. Once he crossed over from death to life, his entire perspective changed—to live is Christ and to die is gain; take up your cross daily; I have been crucified with Christ; present your bodies as a living sacrifice.
Luke 9:23-26 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self? Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
Rom 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
1 Pet 1:13-16 Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Marks of an imposter:
Matthew 10:32-33: “Therefore, everyone who confesses Me before people, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies me before people, I will also deny Him before My Father who is in heaven.”
2 Peter 2:20-22: For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them. It has happened to them according to the true proverb, “A dog returns to its own vomit,” and, “A sow, after washing, returns to wallowing in the mire.”
Romans 1:18-32: The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
Hebrews 3:7-19: So, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’ So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.” Who were they who heard and rebelled? Were they not all those Moses led out of Egypt? And with whom was he angry for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies perished in the wilderness? And to whom did God swear that they would never enter his rest if not to those who disobeyed? So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.
Hebrews 10:23-27: Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.
Proverbs 28:13-14: Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.
Faithful servants?
"His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.'"
We all believe we are going to hear “well done,” but why? One of the servants buried his talent in the ground instead of investing it and upon the master's return, he says to him: "'You wicked, lazy servant! And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth'" (Matthew 25:26-30).
The narrow road:
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test” (2 Corinthians 13:5).
“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way in broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is narrow and the way in constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).
“And someone said to Him, ‘Lord are there just a few who are being saved?’ And He said to them, ‘Strive to enter the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. Once the head of the house gets up and shuts the door, and you begin standing outside and knocking on the door, saying, ‘Lord, open up to us!’ and He then will answer and say to you, ‘I do not know where you are from,’ Then you will begin saying, ‘We ate and drank in your presence, and You taught in our streets!’ And yet He will say, I do not know where you are from; LEAVE ME, ALL YOU EVILDOERS’” (Luke 13: 23-27).
The fruit test:
“So, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; LEAVE ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS’” (Matthew 7:17-23).
Jesus makes it clear in this passage that a Believer will produce good fruit—good works in keeping with repentance (Matthew 3:8). The following passage is a beautiful description of how faith and works complement each other. “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9). Faith comes first! This is a complete dependance on the sole and complete work of Christ on our behalf. But after we repent and are saved, we are then expected, as a follower of Jesus, to do good works. They very next verse says: “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). The good works, the fruit, prove our salvation.
So, what do we do with “believers” who live like unbelievers. Only God knows a person’s heart, but when it comes to knowing how to confront a hypocrite (one who says they believe in Christ but live differently), we have to examine the fruit. I personally would say to treat them as an unbeliever. Non-believers need the Gospel. We cannot expect a non-believer to think or act like believers. They are of their father the Devil, and they live accordingly. The message always to this group is to repent of their sin and to believe the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Making non-believers more moral only leads to a more well-adjusted person in Hell.
It’s Jesus plus nothing. That’s hard for many Americans to grasp—as we are a self-sufficient, hard-working group. But in this case, we can do nothing to work our way to Heaven. All we can do is trust Jesus and believe in Him.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
John 14:6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
These verses make it very clear that we cannot leave Christ out of Christianity. He is the only way to have a relationship with the Father. If we leave Christ out of Christianity, we do not have Christianity—we only have false religion. Without a personal relationship with Christ, we are on the wrong path and do not have a saving faith.
We see true believers in Christ on a path that is extremely narrow—Christ plus nothing—and Jesus tells us that there are few people on this path. We see the rest of the world on the wide path. I would like to suggest that many of those on this wide path to destruction think they are on the right path—many who would say that they are Christians but need to be confronted with the true Gospel.
Article: Pursuing Counselees as Believers or Unbelievers? by Bryan Carlson
As a biblical counselor, my primary concern is helping people find healing and restoration through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. When determining whether to pursue a counselee as a Believer or unbeliever, I will consider several factors. First, I will ask them about their faith and their relationship with God and have them explain to me their Christian journey. Second, I will consider the reality of how they are living out their faith when deciding whether to pursue them as Believers or unbelievers. Jesus warns of people who profess faith but are not truly saved. I would challenge them with this passage:
“For the gate is narrow and the way is constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it. You will know them by their fruits. So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits. Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness” (Matthew 7:14-23).
It is important to assess the fruits of their lives, both past and present, to determine if they are truly living in accordance with the faith they claim to possess. The book of James emphasizes the importance of works in addition to faith. James 2:14-26 says that faith without works is dead. This means that true faith will be accompanied by evidence of good works, such as acts of love, mercy, and justice. Therefore, as a biblical counselor, it is important to not only assess the profession of faith of a counselee but also their actions to see if they align with the teachings of Christ. The book of 1 John provides additional insight into the importance of living a life of faith. 1 John 1-5 reminds us that we must walk in the light of Christ and confess our sins in order to have fellowship with Him. This means that if a counselee is claiming to be a Believer they must not only profess their faith but also live in a way that honors God and confess any sins that may be hindering their relationship with Him.
If I believe a counselee is a Christian, I will approach the counseling from a biblical perspective that emphasizes the importance of repentance, forgiveness, and submission to God's will. I will also utilize Scripture to address harmful behaviors being exhibited and challenge them to take responsibility for their actions. Additionally, I will encourage them to seek the guidance and support of their church community, including finding someone to disciple them. I may also suggest that they seek additional resources such as Christian books or conferences. Their faith will be an essential component of the healing process, and it will provide a framework for addressing the spiritual, emotional, and relational aspects of their problems.
If I do not believe that a counselee is a Christian, I will make sure they understand a clear presentation of the Gospel and how it is Good News that can help change their lives and their situation. If they repent, praise God! I will now counsel them as a Believer. If they are unwilling to repent and turn to Christ for salvation, we will end the counseling as they are not willing to receive hope and healing from the Word of God. Depending on the relationship, I will stay in touch with the counselee and look for opportunities to invest in their life and share the Gospel when prudent.
Resources
“The Gospel’s Power and Message” by Paul Washer
“The Cost of Discipleship” by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
